Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Antistate Holidays

I'm borrowing this from my friend Joel Smith over at

Sign me up for this selection of new holidays by Michael Rozeff. Some of them sound like a realistic way to starve the kleptocratic government.

Unelection Day. This is the day on which voter turnout became zero. Well, not really zero, but such a small number that voting became meaningless. It is the day when oodles of people pressed so few levers and buttons that they de-legitimized the State and it withered away from lack of support.

Unregistration Day or Unpermit Day or Unlicensing Day. This is the day when oodles of people stopped registering with the State. They stopped registering for political party affiliations. They stopped registering their vehicles, from automobiles to bicycles to boats to snowmobiles. Youths stopped registering for public schools. They stopped registering for the military draft. They stopped registering for passports and driver’s licenses. They stopped registering for Social Security and Medicare. Businesses of all kinds stopped registering for licenses. Inventors stopped registering for patents. Doctors stopped registering for medical licenses. People stopped registering for professional licensing of all kinds, from accounting to architecture to lawyering to zoo-keeping. People and businesses engaged in transportation and communications no longer applied for licenses. Hunting licenses stopped. No one registered their pets. Immigrants no longer had to register. No one registered to vote. No one got a tax registration or identification number. No one registered guns, from handguns to automatic machine guns. People stopped getting marriage licenses who did not want them. No one registered for jury duty. No one who did not want them had to get permits or licenses from the State.

Uninspection Day. This day commemorates when people stopped getting inspections done by State order. This is the day when State inspectors were barred from entering anyone’s premises unless they wanted them on there. On this day, State inspectors had nothing to inspect. They could not hunt for environmental infringements, safety violations, or anything else.

Unrequirement Day. On this day, manufacturers, shippers, wholesalers, retailers, and all other businesses from the smallest to the largest stopped obeying State requirements having anything to do with labor, hours worked, pay, overtime, workweek, hiring and firing, safety, and unions. Businesses chose the hours they wanted to. Manufacturers no longer paid any attention to State regulations concerning products. They freed themselves to produce whatever they wanted to. They no longer obeyed regulations on energy, safety, the environment, product size or design, or anything else they wanted to ignore. Retailers sold whatever products they wanted to. Whoever wanted to transport mail in any form could do so. Whoever wanted to provide judicial services could do so. Whoever wanted to provide police or defense services could do so. Whoever wanted to produce drugs could do so.

Unholiday Day. This day celebrates the day when people stopped celebrating official national holidays.

Uncensus Day. This is the day when oodles of people stopped sending in their census forms and stopped answering doorbells and knocks at the door when census takers came around.

Untax Day. This is the day that a network of programmers launched software that enabled anyone to stop paying withholding tax. This is the day that people in great numbers vetoed the income tax by using software that disabled automatic tax deductions. This is the day that people gained the capacity to disable paying sales and excise taxes and did so in large numbers. This is the day that government was brought to a grinding halt.

Unlaw Day. On this day, people en masse ignored the drug laws. Because of Untax Day, the State authorities could no longer enforce the drug laws. All people charged with victimless crimes demanded jury trials, and the juries stopped convicting people of victimless crimes.

Airport Freedom Day. This comes under the rubric of uninspection day, but it is such a special annoyance that it is separated out here. This is the day when oodles of people refused to undergo any inspections at airports. They bulldozed past airport inspectors. They lifted them bodily and carried them outside the air terminals to the parking lots where they fed them with hot dogs, potato chips, and soft drinks. No one was hurt. Inside the terminal, all machinery for inspection was dismantled by scores of people with the appropriate tools and blowtorches.

Ridicule Day. This is the day when oodles of people showed up at the offices of elected officials and jeered at them. They carried them from their offices and unceremoniously tossed them into portable swimming pools before escorting them to their vehicles. They locked them out of their offices. The rest of the day was spent celebrating.

Ungovernment day a.k.a. Independence Day. This is the day when the State no longer forced anyone to be under its rule who did not want to be. Also known as Freedom Day.

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